the hedonistic perspective

It is a city like no other.

2011-04-17T01:44:00.000+01:00

What they say about London....

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.
Oscar Wilde

Most people live in the city and go to the country at the weekend, and that's posh and aristocratic, but actually to live in the country and come to London when you can't take it any more is different.
Damien Hirst

Westminster

You burned the city of London in our houses and we felt the flames.
Archibald MacLeish

The problem is that many MPs never see the London that exists beyond the wine bars and brothels of Westminster.
Ken Livingstone

You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.
Sir Seymour Hicks

You find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.
Samuel Johnson

You see in the streets of London, great and little boys running about in long blue coats, which, like robes, reach quite down to the feet, and little white bands, such as the clergy wear.
Karl Philipp Moritz

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield

Nothing is certain in London but expense.
William Shenstone

On the other hand, all kinds of adventurous schemes to add security checkpoints to subway and bus systems have been circulating since the London attacks. This is nonsense. No one can guaranty 100 percent security.
Otto Schily

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.
George Bernard Shaw

When you go to clubs in London there are loads of good-looking blokes, and I feel like a bit of a minger.
Lee Ryan

I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
Ambrose Bierce

Jurgen loved London because he could get lost here. He said that it was the first time he could do that in eight years. No one knew him or bothered him. It is great for a person to be able to get lost.
Teddy Sheringham

Audiences in London called me the girl with the black cherry eyes.
Maureen O'Hara

London is a modern Babylon.
Benjamin Disraeli

A country gentleman should bring his lady to visit London as soon as he can, that they may have agreeable topicks for conversation when they are by themselves.
Samuel Johnson

London is a small place, and it is very incestuous. People know where you live. Everybody is sort of on top of each other.
Jeanette Winterson

On March 4th, 1830, I arrived in London, where a new world seemed opened to me.
Henry Bessemer

On the other hand in London you can get an audience that desires dance to go as far as it can go: they've seen the bricks of ideas built over a period so therefore there is an acceptance of what otherwise might seem out on a limb.
Siobhan Davies

London is more mentally stimulating and the people more interesting that Japan.
Kelly Osbourne

An empty Waterloo station on a cold night

This melancholy London - I sometimes imagine that the souls of the lost are compelled to walk through its streets perpetually. One feels them passing like a whiff of air.
William Butler Yeats

People in London think of London as the center of the world, whereas New Yorkers think the world ends three miles outside of Manhattan.
Toby Young

An actor who knows his business ought to be able to make the London telephone directory sound enthralling.
Donald Sinden

The first issue of The Register was printed in London, and gave a glowing account of the province that was to be - its climate, its resources, the sound principles on which it was founded.
Catherine Helen Spence

London, thou art the flower of cities all!
William Dunbar

Whenever I go to bars in London, people send me over Cosmopolitans. It's a very sweet gesture, but I don't like them, so they just sit there.
Kim Cattrall

There was no real fringe theatre in London until way after the war, so either a play was done secretly with a club licence or it was done openly and had to be assessed along with everything else.
Timothy West

There's something about doing theatre in London - it sinks a little bit deeper into your soul as an actor. It's something about the tradition of theatre, about performing on the West End stage.
Christian Slater

To think that the new economy is over is like somebody in London in 1830 saying the entire industrial revolution is over because some textile manufacturers in Manchester went broke.
Alvin Toffler

I go to London, my favourite city in the world, and I feel at home.
Boris Becker

We took an approach, supported by the Prime Minister, the Home Secretary and the Mayor for London, that we had very real fears of violence and damage being caused across the streets of London.
Michael Todd

We used to play in a theater club in London called The King's Head. When the theater let nut, around 10:00 P.M., we'd be ready to go and really get it on for about an hour or so.
Mark Knopfler

What can you do if a part of it is uphill? You can't work out another route. You've just got to run the one they give you. But they tell me London is a nice course. Even the cobbles, I hope, are not very much of a problem for me.
Haile Gebrselassie

When Blur first started and we were playing Manchester the Hacienda was the place to go. That was where a lot of exciting stuff was happening and London was pretty dead.
Graham Coxon

When Culture Club broke up, I hadn't been going out a lot because we'd been working all the time, so I suddenly had this period of leisure. And it was just around the time that the whole acid house thing kicked off in London.
Boy George

In London, the weather would affect me negatively. I react strongly to light. If it is cloudy and raining, there are clouds and rain in my soul.
Jerzy Kosinski

When I did it, I was a starving musician in London in a basement flat, but a simple tune with the right singer or the right situation can become very well liked and accepted. I'm only too pleased to say it happened with that one.
Mick Ralphs

When I was a teenager in Iceland people would throw rocks and shout abuse at me because they thought I was weird. I never got that in London no matter what I wore.
Bjork

When I was in college, I spent a summer working in London. I'd enjoyed tea before that, but then I got actual, really good tea there and never looked back.
Sarah Zettel

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.
Bette Midler

When really you've gone to drama school and rep and then you've come to London and gone to auditions and you've worked, solidly, for years. But that all gets forgotten.
Julia Ormond

When we arrived in London, my sadness at leaving Paris was turned into despair. After my long stay in the French capital, huge, ponderous, massive London seemed to me as ugly a thing as man could contrive to make.
James Weldon Johnson

I was born in London, so going there is always a treat.
Roger Moore

We live in the country, and I have a huge library there. When we go to London for the winter I never know which books to take. I never know what I am going to need. That's the only disadvantage.
Mordecai Richler

But whatever happens, when you leave London you feel like a winner because it's a great venue and it's so nice to be there with all the guys.
Guy Forget

The London Games will be designed for the athletes and we will provide them with the very best venues and the very best conditions to pursue their sporting dreams in London.
Sebastian Coe

The lowest and vilest alleys of London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.
Arthur Conan Doyle

The Metropolis should have been aborted long before it became New York, London or Tokyo.
John Kenneth Galbraith

It was a foggy day in London, and the fog was heavy and dark. Animate London, with smarting eyes and irritated lungs, was blinking, wheezing, and choking; inanimate London was a sooty spectre, divided in purpose between being visible and invisible, and so being wholly neither.
Charles Dickens

The Monmouth Coffee Shop is the best place in London.
Kyle MacLachlan

Hitler bombed London into submission but in fact it created a sense of national solidarity.
Tom Paulin

The Royal Festival Hall in London is nice; people hang out there. I think this inviting, non-exclusive character is very important.
Esa-Pekka Salonen

The Sun in London ran a front page declaring my bum a national treasure. I really did laugh at that. Its not like it can actually do anything, except wiggle.
Kylie Minogue

The young Japanese, especially, love to wear the latest thing and when they come to London they head for my shops as part of what they want to find in Britain.
Vivienne Westwood

Someday when peace has returned to this odd world I want to come to London again and stand on a certain balcony on a moonlit night and look down upon the peaceful silver curve of the Thames with its dark bridges.
Ernie Pyle

Sometimes I miss the spirit of London, but it's a very gray place.
Claire Forlani

London has what it takes to host the greatest sporting show on earth.
Bradley Wiggins

The city of London, within the walls, occupies a space of only 370 acres, and is but the hundred and fortieth part of the extent covered by the whole metropolis.
Henry Mayhew

I think England has served me very well. I like living in London for the reasons I gave. I have absolutely no intentions of cutting those ties. There is absolutely no reason to do so. Certainly not, so that I can have a swimming pool and a palm tree.
Colin Firth

London is one of the most enchanting places I've ever been on this planet.
Don Johnson

London is the clearing-house of the world.
Joseph Chamberlain

London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.
Arthur Conan Doyle

My actual childhood, as opposed to my adolescence, was not spent in London.
Peter Shaffer

My London constituency in Hackney has one of the highest levels of gun crime in the country. But the problem is no longer confined to inner city areas. Gun crime has spread to communities all over Britain.
Diane Abbott

Now I'm back home, living in London, running my theater. I just want to enjoy all that.
Sam Mendes

London Transport commissioned a study to find out why buses were running late and it turned out it was because they kept stopping to let people on.
Rory McGrath

Of course I've done musicals here in London.
Norman Wisdom

I want to be Prime Minister, but I will stand for Mayor of London first.
Mohamed Al-Fayed

Flowers are as common in the country as people are in London.
Oscar Wilde

It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys of London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.
Arthur Conan Doyle

I do not think there is anything deserving the name of society to be found out of London.
William Hazlitt

I came to London. It had become the center of my world and I had worked hard to come to it. And I was lost.
V. S. Naipaul

Nobody is healthy in London, nobody can be.
Jane Austen

By seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.
Samuel Johnson

It was a Sunday afternoon, wet and cheerless; and a duller spectacle this earth of ours has not to show than a rainy Sunday in London.
Thomas De Quincey

A man may learn from his Bible to be a more thorough gentleman than if he had been brought up in all the drawing-rooms in London.
Charles Kingsley

After living in LA for eight years, I sort of wanted a change, but there's not much production in New York, which is where I primarily live, so I just sort of drifted over to London.
Alex Winter

An office boy in London was the lowest of the low. The office boy was the tea boy. He would be the dog's body: It means someone who would do anything at all. I was quite prepared for that and enjoyed it.
George Carey

As a student in London, I had seen so many shows, so many plays and had seen so many greats of the day.
David Naughton

As to London we must console ourselves with the thought that if life outside is less poetic than it was in the days of old, inwardly its poetry is much deeper.
Goldwin Smith

During our stay in London for the first time I was able to establish personal contact with some of the organic chemists, whose work I knew and admired from the literature. I found them most gracious and helpful.
George Andrew Olah

Even if a university should turn out to be another version of a school, I had decided I could lose myself afterwards as an anonymous particle of the London I already loved.
Patrick White

Fancy your having no sunshine in London yesterday! Here it was glorious, like full summer, and I sat up with the window wide open, listening to the discourse of two amorous thrushes.
Marie Corelli

In London they don't like you if you're still alive.
Harvey Fierstein

The parks are the lungs of London.
William Pitt

So poetry, which is in Oxford made an art, in London only is a trade.
John Dryden

In London, love and scandal are considered the best sweeteners of tea.
John Osborne

In London, nobody comments on what you wear - they think that's not important to you or your state of well-being.
Steven Berkoff

I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.
Britney Spears

In Paris, you learn wit, in London you learn to crush your social rivals, and in Florence you learn poise.
Virgil Thomson

Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
Oscar Wilde

In spite of holidays when I was free to visit London theatres and explore the countryside, I spent four very miserable years as a colonial at an English school.
Patrick White

Sir, the noblest prospect that a Scotchman ever sees, is the high road that leads him to London.
Samuel Johnson

It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom.
Jonathan Swift

It was a night when London was ringed and stabbed with fire.
Ernie Pyle

Would you rather live in lively London or where a young penguin lies screaming?
Gavin Buchanan Edwart

It was just a typical London flat, but it was in a great neighborhood. It was across from the Playboy Club, diagonally. From one balcony you could read the time from Big Ben, and from the other balcony you could watch the bunnies go up and down.
Harry Nilsson

It's a unique situation as well because England is a small country, so it makes it easy for the fans to travel. If we play down in London, they get buses and we'll get three or four thousand fans come down. They'll all sit in the same area and show their support for the team.
Claudio Reyna

John Lennon and Ringo Starr liked my songs. I used to write songs and they heard me sing songs on stage in London.
Ben Kingsley

Gentlemen never wear brown in London.
Lord Curzon

He comes to London and gets a job in a nightclub, a gay club, where he's known as Straight Dave by the bar staff - and no one believes he's as straight as he claims to be. He meets the daughter of the club manager, and he has an affair with her.
Neil Tennant

For suddenly, I saw you there and through foggy London town the sun was shining everywhere.
George Gershwin

I became the toast of London. A lot of people I met came from these really decadent families where the married men were gay and no one thought anything about it.
Robert Mapplethorpe

London is full of women who trust their husbands. One can always recognize them. They look so thoroughly unhappy.
Oscar Wilde

I came back out here from England and I was there for a while and it was beautiful and it is just great to see London going from Spring to Summer and Autumn.
Orlando Bloom

I can walk about London and see a society that seems an absolutely revolutionary change from the 1950s, that seems completely and utterly different, and then I can pick up on something where you suddenly see that it's not.
Penelope Lively

I certainly have no plans to leave London. It's a great town.
Ewan McGregor

I crammed my exams in London and did fine.
Rhona Mitra

I do notice that when I've been away and I come back to London. People look at you. People are ready to pick arguments.
Colin Firth

I do some concerts. At the moment, I'm being helped a lot by a gig I play in London, which is Pizza Express.
Mose Allison

I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
Edward M. Forster

I don't think London has been given enough credit in a lot of the movies that we make here.
Mel Smith

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting.
Pierce Brosnan

I hate going out in Brighton now. It's different in London. People respect you more there.
Katie Price

I started noticing how stained the pavements are in London. The pavements in Beverly Hills aren't used; in London, they're used for everything. It doesn't matter how much they're cleaned, they still reflect light.
Julie Christie

I studied for my degree in London and consequently ended up spending five years away from Cornwall. I deliberately moved away from the coast to experience a different way of life.
John Dyer

I suppose in London they all drink from the same watering holes.
Trisha Goddard

I think England has served me very well. I like living in London for the reasons I gave. I have absolutely no intentions of cutting those ties. There is absolutely no reason to do so. Certainly not, so that I can have a swimming pool and a palm tree.
Colin Firth

I was in London. It's a long way to go for a very long party, sitting there for six hours not having a cigarette or a drink. It's a waste of time.
Albert Finney

I went to London because, for me, it was the home of literature. I went there because of Dickens and Shakespeare.
Ben Okri

I worked in rep for six years, then I came to London and to the National Theatre. What's better than that?
Imelda Staunton

I'd never have written the big books in London.
Jilly Cooper

I'm contemplating moving to London for a period of time. I've been in Los Angeles for 15 years and I'm really tired of it. I'm continually uninspired by what's being sent to me. Even by huge films that they're doing there. They're just awful.
Sherilyn Fenn

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx

I've always wanted to perform on the London stage.
Mimi Rogers

If I've been here a long time, I think: I must go to London and speak to someone or see a bus.
Julian Clary

I think London's sexy because it's so full of eccentrics.
Rachel Weisz

I thought Cambridge was in London.
Jade Goodie

I think that London is very much like that. I find there's humour in the air and people are interesting. And I think that it's a place which is constantly surprising. The worst thing about it? I think it can be smug and aggressive.
Colin Firth

I thought of Paris as a beauty spot on the face of the earth, and of London as a big freckle.
James Weldon Johnson

My return to London introduced me to a wider range of society.
Catherine Helen Spence

I used all diligence to arrive at London and therefore I now gave my crew a certificate under my hand, of my free and willing return, without persuasion or force by any one or more of them.
Henry Hudson

I used to have a list of things from my school buddies of what kind of art material they wanted. I'd go up to the West End of London and spend the whole day knocking stuff off.
Ronald Biggs

I was 14 when I started modeling. At the end of that first day my mum said, If you want to do this, you're on your own because I'm not traipsing around London ever again like that. It's a nightmare.
Kate Moss

I was a Labour Party man but I found myself to the left of the Labour party in Nelson, militant as that was. I came to London and in a few months I was a Trotskyist.
C. L. R. James

I was a sort of rock journalist - whatever that is - in London in the late '60s.
Jonathan Demme

I was born in London, England, in 1938, a few months before the war, and spent the first years of my life there, although I was evacuated a couple of times for short periods. My schooling was very interrupted, both by frequent moves and by ill health.
Anne Perry

I love London. I love England. We were out in the countryside and I had the time of my life.
Debra Messing

Hell is a city much like London. A populous and smoky city.
Percy Shelley

London is a roost for every bird.
Benjamin Disraeli

I was born in Middlesex, England, which is really London.
Charles Keating

I love going into the centre of London because people don't give a monkey's about you or who you are. You can be in a restaurant and no one notices you or if they do they won't show it.
Teddy Sheringham

I loved living in London, and I didn't want to leave.
Delta Burke

Right then.

2011-03-30T15:29:00.000+01:00

The Gandhi Sessions with Liza

Liza: Should i spend a grand diving in Perhentian, or should i save up for something further, like... London?

Me : Well you've already gone diving there, so you're 2nd option is better.

Liza: But i barely scratched the surface then. I went diving there when i was getting the license.

Me : That's counts as a dive, non?

Liza: So that's like saying because i've made an airport stop in Dubai, there is no need to go visit the Middle East anymore.

Me : Yea, there's no need for that.

there's no FUN in a fundamentalist

2011-03-30T11:54:00.000+01:00

Religion's triumph over logic.

"Applying Sharia law today is like carving a Ph.D thesis on stone tablets with a blunt stick when a laptop's right next to you."
- a twitterer.

In the interim

2011-03-30T07:52:00.000+01:00

I've got a lot of time on my hands now. Time to do nothing, and to do everything. Most mornings i wake up slowly to the sounds of birds chirping just outside my window. It is peaceful, not having to be in a hurry to be anywhere. Over a quiet glass of juice, mostly orange these days, i think about possibilities of the day.

I actually really miss running. The last time was in Dubai, running around very tall apartment buildings, through construction sites, traffic and sand. You can't miss the sand, not when you're in the desert and don't let the Manolo's and Maserati's fool you, it was just a very well-dressed desert.

Today, i could have gone running. Alas, (and this is not an excuse) i don't have any running gear with me. Shoes, shorts, socks - all in boxes and yet to arrive to us. I did mention a few posts back that i am living out of a suitcase now, in a serviced apartment, south of the river. In a week's time, we should be good to move into our home on Acre Lane and i will be more than happy to start unpacking.

2 bedrooms, on the ground floor of an old Victorian house with a wee garden at the back. In between, a spacious living room. That will be home for a while, and will keep me plenty busy. Unpacking, rearranging, decorating, landscaping. I do enjoy turning a house into a home.

With all the above happening at some near future date, and a stark realisation that all i'm packing at the moment is pounds, today, i commit myself to a 100 sit-ups.

Little Boxes

2011-03-24T17:50:00.001Z

The theme song from "Weeds" by American blues/folk music singer, songerwriter Marlina Reynolds.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_2lGkEU4Xs)

Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky
Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes, all the same
There’s a pink one and a green one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they’re all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same
And the people in the houses
All went to the university
Where they were put in boxesAnd they came out all the same
And there’s doctors and lawyers
And business executives
And they’re all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same
And they all play on the golf courseAnd drink their Martinis dry
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same
And the boys go into business
And marry, and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same
There’s a pink one and a green one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they’re all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

Little milestones make a pretty big life.

2011-03-24T17:33:00.000Z

2011's achievements.

1. Fell in love
2. went sky diving
3. put life first. career second.
(currently unemployed. and very happy)

That which lies in the heart.

2011-03-24T17:17:00.000Z

The ancient poets animated all objects with Gods or Geniuses, calling them by the names and adorning them with the properties of woods, rivers, mountains, lakes, cities, nations, and whatever their enlarged & numerous senses could perceive. And particularly they studied the genius of each city & country, placing it under its mental deity; Till a system was formed, which some took advantage of, & enslav'd the vulgar by attempting to realize or abstract the mental deities from their objects: thus began priesthood; Choosing forms of worship from poetic tales. And at length they pronounc'd that the Gods had order'd such things. Thus men forgot that all deities reside in the human breast ..

William Blake

Love

Does life begin in London?

2011-03-24T16:26:00.002Z

Or when i am 30?

If i were to go back 5 years, i could not have imagined this life. I have long since given up the comfort of home for this - living out of large black suitcase with baby blue trimmings. The trade might seem ridiculous to some but it made perfect sense to me.

I didn't care where i would go. Somehow the journey seems so much more important than the destination. I wanted to be nowhere, yet be everywhere. Exchanging comfort for uncertainty, i suppose, is not for everyone.

2 weeks ago, i arrived in London. and in 2 weeks, i turn 30.

The odds are good.

extraordinary - we all are

2008-02-29T03:02:00.008Z

I have recently come to realize that i don't know all the answers. The arrogance of my youth made me think that nothing was beyond me, that i am bigger than life itself. As i was growing up, i was busy making plans about how life should be, could be, would be.. however the contradiction that defines me saw me filling up my days with everything that provided an instantaneous sense of gratification instead of taking my larger than life plans through.

I dreamt it all. But mostly of having a spectacular journey as i go about with living. I dreaded the conventional, and despised the ordinary. I envisioned fireworks not in moments but in processions, having the everyday transformed into a gala affair.

Sitting here today, i look back with fond thoughts of the girl from my yesteryear. That girl is still around, cause i hear her every time my heart feels. Without a doubt, the voices in my head have become more jaded, more cautious over time but its the tiny nudges that i feel the most, coming from somewhere deep within me - telling me to dance in the rain even though everybody is watching, prompting me to love and live with no boundaries, no fears, no regrets. Most definitely, maybe even more than others - the child in me lives on, in its own strong but subtle way.

And with everyday passing, i am coming to terms with the fact that in my own ordinary way, i am extraordinary. I've had my share of failures, broken dreams, and dissapointments but through it all, i had a good fun. I've made mistakes, but they were my mistakes because i allowed myself the freedom to screw up every now and then. All in all, my experiences have shaped me, but they hardly define me. Living for the moment, it was all done with an enormous amount of passion and enthusiasm and qouted from a Sneaker Pimps song , 'i live my life like i bleed, too much'. Almost manic, how the whole world brightens up when i'm happy, and the intensity in sadness when i lose my smile.

Yet through it all, i am hopeful and that is the child in me speaking.
Perhaps it is that girl from my yesteryear who will be my savior.

'I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity'.
Gilda Radner

Here we go again..

2008-02-22T11:10:00.003Z

After a long spell of cyber silence, i am back (to stay, i hope) in action with The Hedonistic Perspective. After a three year hiatus of neglect and abandonment of my blog, i am thinking that its simply about time.

Reading my past entries have brought back strings of sentimentality. So much has changed since then, yet so many things remain the same, such as my hedonistically inclined perspective and my attraction towards mishegoss and laughter.

A friend wrote me a note saying - 'Growing old is inevitable, Growing up is optional'. I do not deny the fact that as we grow older, life presents us with more challenges, more choices but also more experiences to navigate through those choices. Responsibility and appropriateness call for us to act with our heads, and not with our hearts.

But i find the real challenge in growing up is in not forgetting our inner child, a personification of who we once were, when life was simpler. It is that very child who will teach you all over again how to live and how to love - pure, innocent and without hesitation.

Grow up, grow old but don't forget your inner child, the one that is full of hope, anticipation and curiousity.

-Busy: Dealing with Life-

2005-03-25T14:34:00.000Z

I will be back.

Such is Stupidity.

2005-03-10T06:39:00.000Z

This whole being gay thing must really be getting to some people and i'm not talking about those that are gay themselves. The slightest mention of the word, 'homosexuality' in a non-classroom setting brings about bouts of snikers. Even the sight of two people of the same sex kissing makes many uncomfortable. [But this mostly applies to the guy-on guy thang. No many are offended with girls making out with each other] But anyways, i wonder, what are the uncomfortable about? Their own sexuality? Come on. Gay people are discriminated against so randomly and so frequently. Without any reasonable justification; if you would even allow for one. The act of discrimination can be the manisfestation of an insecurity complex. A self-defence mechanism. Freaking homophobes. You're disgusting.

I read this on Connected: Coast to Coast with Ron Reagan and Monica Crowley, MSNBC News.

What do animals have to do with the same-sex marriage debate? (Ron Reagan)

Yesterday, my home state of Washington took up the issue of same-sex marriage. The issue did attract a group of protestors to our state capitol.

Now you know what this debate means: Let the gay-bashing begin. Named the fave right wing sport for several years running, gay-bashing always gets a big boost from the so-called “gay marriage” debate.

Much of it is entirely predictable, even kind of amusing. Homophobes don't seem to get what the rest of us are hip to— that the people most worked up about other folk's sexuality tend to be insecure about their own. Their lips may say “sanctity of marriage” but we hear “closet case.”

And, inevitably, someone like Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania will launch things into the realm of the truly weird. Remember when he dragged man on dog sex into the discussion? Man on dog? The love that dare not bark its name? How did we get from matrimony— to man's best, um,... Saturday night ever? I began to wonder just what videos this guy might have in his private collection, quickly concluded I didn't really want to know, and chalked it up to a peculiar fascination of the senator's.

But then, Justice Antonin Scalia dropped the b-bomb, saying that same sex marriage would lead to bestiality. Apparently, the far right spends a disturbing amount of time thinking about sex with animals.

Two obvious thought arise: First, the two issues are entirely unrelated. On the one hand you have two humans wanting to get hitched; on the other, a drunken farmer and outraged sheep. Second, these people need help and we're not talking a trip to the petting zoo.

A word of advice to the gay-unfriendly fringe: ix-nay on the animal stuff. Whatever point you're trying to make, this can't be helping. And besides, it's just plain creepy.

And a recommendation to the rest of us: the next time Santorum, Scalia or any of their ilk drop by for dinner, you might want to consider locking up the pets... just to be on the safe side.

Now, This is News.

2005-03-10T05:59:00.000Z

Dog subpoenaed as witness in murder case.

Suspect wrote his pooch a letter from prison, prosecutors say.

The Associated Press
Updated: 12:45 p.m. ET March 9, 2005

BENTONVILLE, Ark. - Prosecutors hoping for a witness in a murder case to roll over were barking up the wrong tree.

They sent out a batch of subpoenas for anyone who had contact with Albert K. Smith while he was jailed awaiting his murder trial. One of those subpoenas went out to 5-year-old Murphy Smith — Smith’s dog, it turned out.

The defendant had written his dog a letter from his cell, and that is how the shih tzu’s name got on the witness list.

Prosecutors realized the mistake on Tuesday after the defendant’s brother brought in Murphy to answer the subpoena and a deputy would not let them into the courthouse because no dogs were allowed.

Prosecutor Robin Green said she apologized to the brother for any inconvenience, and added: “The dog was friendly enough and probably would have been a very cooperative witness.”

Albert Smith is accused of shooting to death his ex-wife’s boyfriend.

© 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. [However, this is referenced.]

crumbled grumbles

2005-03-09T08:44:00.000Z

Work always stresses me out. It doesn't have to be difficult in nature or require tediuos hours - if its work, then i hate it. I even dislike the idea of having to do work. The whole concept eludes me and it could come in any form - home work, house work, work work.. whetever.

I wouldn't be complaining about it normally. I don't like it, but some things just have to be done. However, this is not your typical, ordinary, normal situation.

I have way too much work to do. See, i figure since i view work like the plague, people should be sensitive towards that and not overload me with so much. Doesn't Buddhism teach that 'anything in excess ain't good for you?' Then why doesn't it apply to me?

It keeps bringin' it on!

If we spend all our lives' working, then where is the time to play? Remember the other saying, 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'.. well, there is some truth in it too. Play is so underrated these days.

So, i'm now left with no time to wine and dine, to follow my heart's pursuits, to live. I am not a programmed robot that wakes up every morning at 7 a.m. sharp, goes to work, comes back from work, does more work at home, and then gets recharged [from sleeping] just to carry on with the same routine tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after the day after that..dammit!

Like my momma always says, 'why fight a losing battle?'

I see her point now. Hmm. Must be a sign of growing up. I no longer want to be a revolutionary. Sigh, there go my childish ambitions.. out of the window, till there is no more.

Say what?

2005-03-07T21:52:00.000Z

A friend left this comment on MSN regarding my last post. Then he was gone. So abruptly. How strange.

if silence is freedom, and freedom, as we all know, is overrated, what does it all mean?'

I'm sitting there, looking at the chat pop-up. I'm trying to understand his question. But I'm stuck at 'everyone knowing that freedom is overrated'. Everyone who? It sounds like a question with intellectual depth but it could also turn out to be a really retarded question. Who knows.. The freaking question has left me confused. Maybe its sleep deprivation.

No, sorry dude. I don't know what question means. Nope, not the faintest idea. Perhaps you might want to rephrase it, reword it.. Whatever.

night

2005-03-07T21:31:00.000Z

I love being awake when everyone is asleep. Especially if its at night. The sky is dark and the world seems silent. Seems rested, or perhaps resting. Sounds like its the same thing, but its really not. In turn, that quiet makes me feel rested. Almost free.

But it really sucks that i can't enjoy this beautiful starless night. Not because of excessive layers of smog and grime that envelope our atmosphere and hide the stars. Not because of unpleasant noises that drown out the serene silence. Everyone is alseep.. man, sister and kitty cats. Everyone except me.

Awake at 5 ish a.m. Tried to accomplish sleep several times already. Failed miserably. I am apparently not sleepy, says my mind, however, my entire body is telling me otherwise. Freaking go to sleep you stupid cow! We can't take it anymoreeeeeee....

Yet another internal conflict. I would normally love it - this night (not the conflict), this very kind of night. Its so quiet. Except for the sound of the computer humming or whatever you call that sound it makes. But that's almost not there. Like a heart beat, its so steady and constant, that you don't even realize it being there. Like elevator music. You only listen when you're paying attention. Or is that just me?

I feel like blogging and surfing and doing geeky computer stuff. Geeky is not a bad thing, if not taken to extremes.s.s. Sigh..If only if wasn't happening tonight.

I have class in 4 hours, which pretty much ruins the prospects of enjoying this magnifique night. Why? Here's why - because i have to quit fooling around here and get sleep. And because, i really, really don't like the idea of laying in bed and waiting for Her Majesty Sleep to arrive. Groan.

At least its a quiet night.

The Calvin and Hobbes Connection

2005-03-06T05:08:00.000Z

Posted by Hello

Entire archives of Calvin and Hobbes comics.

'Expeditions of an Untimely Man'

2005-03-05T17:43:00.000Z

Towards a psychology of an artist. For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic society or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.

Intoxication must first have heightened the excitability of the entire machine: no art results before that happens. All kinds of intoxication, however different their origin, have the power to do this, above all, the intoxication of sexual excitement, the oldest and most primitive form of intoxication. Likewise the intoxication that comes in the train of all great desires, all strong emotions; the intoxication of feasting, of contest, of the brave deed, of victory, of all extreme agitation; the intoxication of cruelty; intoxication in destruction, intoxication under certain meteorological influences, for example the intoxication of spring; or under the influence of narcotics; finally the intoxication of the will, the intoxication of an overloaded and distended will. The essence of intoxication is the feeling of plenitude and increased energy. From out of this feeling one gives to things, one compels them to take, one rapes them - one calls this procedure idealizing. Let us get rid of a prejudice here: idealizing does not consist, as it is commonly believed, in a subtracting or deducting of the petty and secondary. A tremendous expulsion of the principle features rather is the decisive thing, so that thereupon the others too disappear.

In this condition one enriches everything out of one's own abundance: what one sees, what one desires, one sees swollen, pressing, strong, overladen with energy. The man in this condition transforms things until the mirror his power, until they are reflections of his perfection.

This compulsion to transform into the perfect is - art.

Twilight of the Idols, 1889.

- Friedrich Neitzsche -

2005-03-05T10:23:00.000Z

I do, I do, I do.
Posted by Hello

2005-03-03T17:30:00.000Z

The Glare of Grigio. [The missing picture from the 'Mid Term Week Miracle' post. Now found.]
Posted by Hello

'Mid Term Week Miracle'

2005-03-03T15:11:00.001Z

I'm taking a break from studying. Tomorrow morning is my Principles of Management midterm. At a ridiculously early nine a.m.

Gone are the days when slumber meant sleeping through the sunlight, only emerging once the sun submerges. These days, i'm up early - 9 ish, sometimes 10 ish. The young sun always feels so good against my face, gently warming it. And its never too hot and never too humid in the early morn.

I also geniously discovered that my plants stay alive if i water them under that same, refreshing morning sun. I've been doing that for a while now, regularly and reliably and the plants are.. ALIVE! They aren't flourishing - no crazy flowering spurts but the leaves show a rich green. A sign of life. Ahhh.. Cultivez mes petits!!

I've been doing quite a bit. Studying for exams which are strategically scattered throughout the week, which simply means that the actual studying may be scattered too. I also successfully completed a 10 page take-home midterm. The subject matter - Principles of Interviewing. We were given a 5 day deadline. All requests for an extension of time fell on deaf ears. Despite my displeasure and the fact that yet another weekend was sacrificed, it was completed.

Oooo, Oooo.. there's more news. Last Friday, half way through Organizational Behavior, i recieved a very exciting sms from Is-a-bell. [Is-a-bell hails all the way from the Republic of China, an only child of a military general. She's was a classmate, now - my neighbor]

"Hey nitz. Would you like to take in a kitten? She's very cute."

I immediately let go a silent 'Hell-yeah!' and nudged Mimo in the side, where he absolutely hates it. Mimo glares at me. I look at him.. and mouth out an exaggarated 'whaaaaaaaaaat??'

Please note that all this while we are sitting in class, hence the hushed conversations.

I show Mimo the sms. By this time, i can hardly sit still. I feel like calling Is-a-bell and saying, YES!! YES!! Ohhh YES!!.. The kitty is mine. Mimo's done reading her message by now. He looking at me, subtly shaking his head [that's the universal sign for 'NO', except in India perhaps, where the left to right movement of the head is often a gesture of approval]

I am impatient by now. 'Well, can we get the cat?'

Mimo, in his calm and unimpressed voice says, 'We'll have to think about it.'

My eyebrows move up in query, 'Think about what? Its not like we're getting a horse.'

His reply, 'Your sister is allergic to cats.' So matter of factly. Arrggh. So annoying. I hate matter of fact kind of answers. They make me feel stupid, like duh.

That would be a problem. She does have a troubled nose. Its always up to something - running, getting clogged. What faulty plumbing. I am now in deep thought. 'There must be a way.'

I have had a cat before. This was circa 2000 during my shortlived stint in the US of A. Munchkin, a beautiful black and white Persian princess. She was my princess. Our story has a sad ending, with me leaving the States and her behind. I tried to bring her back but there was simply no place to keep her. I have dogs in Ipoh. Dogs who chase cats. Munchkin's a house cat. It would have been too traumatic.

Anyways, because i have had cats before, i know that with the proper diet and care, their fur won't shed as much. That's pretty much goes down to the root of the problem [the one with my sister's faulty plumbing.] The fly-a-way hair [or fur] is the culprit behind irritating noses. Especially noses like my sisters'. I will talk to her about this. This is a positive thing, my revelation.

The weekend passes. Is-a-bell's working now. Our timings clash and i don't get to meet the cat. Eventually, we find common ground [and time]. I go to her new apartment. Its sweet, she and her other half painted the walls a warm orange, giving the apartment a mediterrain feel. I especially love the floor to ceiling windows that are in every room of the apartment. Its high up, and the view is awesome.. convenient too as you can check out traffic conditions from all the nearby expressways.

There were only two kitties for adoption. The rest have a home, with Is-a-bell and her other half. I decide on the blackish and white one, the relatively more active one out of the two. Kitty number Two is pretty. A metallic blueish-greyish coat and eyes that are really something. But Kitty number Two is timid, way to timid for my liking.

Kitty number One has a bad eye. Is-a-bell's other half says it normal. 'The second eyelid hasn't opened up.'

Mimo and i have agreed not to make any rash decisions. Well, its more like i was advised not to make any rash decisions. We will take the cat to the vet before making a commitment. Better a healthy cat than an unhealthy one. Always.

Finally, two days ago the cat goes to the vet. We meet with Is-a-bell's other half in front of the vet. Sigh. The vet's out on an emergency. Is-a-bell's other half, let's call him 'A' , tries calling the vet at the number he stuck up on the glass door. Both the kitties are in a paper bag, nestled inside a cardbox box, which is inside the paper bag. Kitty number One and Two. They are quiet. Calm.

There's no answer from the vet. A and Is-a-bell have to go to work. Poor people. So, Mimo and i volunteer to get the kitties to the vet. A and Is-a-bell agree, saying they'll call us later to check up on things.

And that, ladies and gentlemen.. is how my 'family' has expanded. The kitties went to the vet. Kitty number One is officially and permanently blind in one eye. Kitty number Two is cool. Both were dewormed and routinely checked. We then took the babies home and quickly fell in love with them... Kitty One and Two.

They are friends and siblings and it will tear my heart to separate them. I am looking into a foster home for Kitty number One, now duly named 'Pirate' in honor of its one eye. However, what it doesn't have in sight, Pirate makes up for it in personality. [we think the kitties are both male] He's loving, and exceedingly gentle and comes to you when you call it.

Pirate conquering mountains.

Kitty number Two now goes by the name - Grigio which means Grey in Italiano. The other name i had for it was 'Greyskull' but we decided not for fear of He-Man's copyright laws. Grigio is quite playful too, but he takes longer to get used to you. He is fully content entertaining himself with the wire hazards around the house which makes my next activity - Kitty Proofing the Apartment. Below is Grigio:

The Glare of Grigio.

Both kitties were already trained to use the litter box prior to moving in with us. That's a relief. Another plus point to convince my sister with the runny nose.

But for now, cultivez mes petits!!! Grow strong, Grow tall.

Out..

2005-03-02T14:03:00.000Z

for mid term week.

Ode to the Gonzo.

2005-02-26T03:27:00.000Z

Hunter S. Thompson, the father of Gonzo Journalism is gone.

Hunter: curtesy of The Economist.

He committed suicide by taking a gun to his head, in hopes of exorcising his own demons. Hunter S. Thompson is famed for his literary masterpieces such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: the story of over consumption, decadence and chaos.

The Late Hunter S. Thompson.
1937 - 2005.

In death, may he find his peace.

a mini enlightenment

2005-02-25T14:26:00.001Z

I have been having doubts about this blog. Its intended purpose was to act as an avenue for self-expression. But I fucked up. I advertised this blog with no mercy, for the world to see. Its not so much the world I am concerned about. I'm cool with the world. Rather.. My concern lies in the fact that people I know might read something that they should not be reading... Somehow I feel that I have become constrained in my expression.

I have extremely high expectations of myself. So high, that its
unrealistic. So high, that its ridiculous. Its a mighty task to let go of that
guard, that mask - No, I'm not perfect. Sometimes my life sucks. Often, I am
bored and uninterested.

But today in class, my wise boyfriend said something profoundly intelligent. Something that made my ears all perky and created a huge, invisible thought bubble that shouted 'AHA!!!'..

'Confident people don't take themselves
too seriously. They mess up, they laugh at themselves.'

How interesting that he relates having a sense of humor about oneself to cofidence.
I really never looked at it like that. I take myself way too seriously. I am unforgiving when it comes to mistakes that I have made, uncompromising when it comes to decisions that I've made. And I shake at the thought that I am exposed, left vulnerable..

But you know, its okay to be vulnerable [especially when you're vulnerable without putting yourself in the path of danger and peril]. It teaches you how to be strong. Despite how strong we feel at times, we could always be stronger. Life is tough. She throws you curve balls all the time.

So, I learnt this today [ which is of course straightforward in theory but amazingly complex in reality]. That its not cool to 'sweat the small stuff because in life, Everything is small stuff'.

Kick back and enjoy.

Child of wonder

2005-02-20T03:01:00.000Z

No shapes, no sounds,
No reason to be found
in the midst of laughter
that shrivels up after
remain fragments of wonder.

With child's eyes i search
for impressions of mirth.
None can be found.
As time comes to tell,
expressions of wonder
cease to be discovered
as the eyes of the child -
cloud over.

Left behind are daggers
that scold laughter and
leave behind -
no shapes, no sounds.

Reality bites.
The child's eyes flutter.
No more a wide eyed wonder.

beyond understandings

2005-02-20T01:53:00.000Z

' Happy families are all alike. Unhappy families are all unhappy in their own way.'
- Leo Tolstoy -

I reacted badly. I asked mother to leave my home which she is paying for. That sister of mine, i told she she should move out. I regret that things should be this way between mother and i. However, that is just the tip of the iceberg.

I am a staunch believer of necessity. If the relationship is strained, both parties should come forth and talk things through, regardless of the consequences. If Mother had something to say to me, she should have come out and said it to me, not to the sister who i have now come to believe is manipulatively trying to steal every millisecond of attention that is not directed her way.

Are we beyond understanding each other? Did that ship pass us by? I will talk to you mother, but with you alone. There comes a time when a child needs to reclaim its trust in its parents.

The case of the Lost.. but Found!

2005-02-19T00:18:00.000Z

Remember that memorable post from Monday, February the 7th?
The one about a stolen car?
Well. its found.

Abandoned near Cheras, the one year old, once sporty Satria Gti is now in an almost naked state. The god-forsaken people who took it stripped it bare, leaving nothing but small traces of the car that we once knew - like a single, solitary cushion that helped Maureen see past the steering wheel, a single , solitary sun shield that has served all our cars, and the chasis number. Its The GTI alright.

Point of entry.

I took some pictures of the car which was brought into the IPK's junkyard (Ibu Pejabat Polis Kontinjen: Police Contingent Headquaters) at Jalan Hang Tuah, Kuala Lumpur. So many cars and motorcycles there, all in different stages of a wreck. You will see from the pictures that it was a professional job.

looks like a shoddy job ey?

the car's interior. Note that the crooks actually went through the trouble of switching the car seats.

The crooks got in through the boot and disassembled everything - dashboard, sound system, engine, floor mats, door panels, etc. Oh, but they were kind enough to replace the original GTI Recaro seats with some other functional seats. I am touched.

But apparently, the insurance company will take care of everything. Bless them.

mein kampf.

2005-02-16T03:19:00.000Z

My dear friend, Andy commented that my blog is starting to look like a travel brochure - Visit Malaysia, Trust me!

That is not my intention.

However, I am often misunderstood. This blog was originally designed to be an avenue for my countless complains and ramblings about a life too ordinary. I wanted to express myself in the only [healthy] way i know - through my writing.

Not an easy task. Pouring words down here is like telling the world how you feel. Its a concept that i'm getting used to. In utter fairness, there was a certain level of anonymity which was expelled once i started loading pictures into my Hedonistic Perspective. Pictures look nice, adds color to the morbid black of my blog. Rats would say, 'but its not morbid, its deep'.

I am a complete amateur when it comes to web design or anything that has anything to do with HTML coding. Even the littlest detail of weaving a link into my template takes considerable hours of trial and error. I'm surfing all these sites that offer the promise of easy template designing, 'Just copy and paste it right on.' Right.

After a string of seeminly useless copying and pasting actions, i've had it. Enough is enough. Am i stupid or is this hard? Kasper gave me a quick tutorial on the basics of HTML. You would not believe it. What caused me hours of endless agony and frustration now is at my finger tips, awaiting my command.

Yea, that's it. You got to show it who's boss.

I am boss. Boss of this blog. This is the one part of my life that i have complete control over. [That too is a matter of interpretation considering i have the 'stupids' when it comes to computer language.] I decide what gets posted, when it gets posted and how it gets posted. I can also decide not to post. Everything written in here is an excerpt from my life, seen through my eyes. Mimo says, 'It does come out rather one sided' but thats the whole point. Its my point. My side. My story.

Dammit. Its my life. [LoL. This was inserted for no apparent reason.]

Creativity is a challenge. I fear that i am not ingenious enough. When dealing with a life like mine, one so ordinary, its of utmost importance to practice creativity. Another boring day, another interesting perspective. That's the challenge.

My challenge.

Qoute of the Day.

2005-02-14T07:22:00.000Z

"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms."

- Alan Coren -

Thirsty Traveller

2005-02-13T11:21:00.000Z

an assortment of Local thirst busters - Malacca
Posted by Hello

Message to the World

2005-02-13T09:51:00.000Z

Stop the Violence.
Posted by Hello

some culture.. anyone?

2005-02-13T06:30:00.000Z

The holidays are almost over, and this was a one well spent. From Batu Caves to the historical city of Malacca, I saw a cultural Malaysia. A rare sights. With mass production and globalization, cultures and civilizations merge, with some variety of course.

Malacca is where Malaysia began. To read about its history, go to http://planet.time.net.my/CentralMarket/melaka101/chrono.htm.

We decided on Malacca because we wanted show Kas and Camilla around, and we ran out places worth going to in Kuala Lumpur. They had seen the Petronas Twin Towers, China Town, Batu Caves, and gone to a couple of malls. As Mimo's parents were going in that direction as well, we decided to make it a road trip.

Malacca was hot, hot, hot. Luckily, the trip was worth the scorching temperatures.
I'll leave you with some pictures, courtesy of Kasper and Camilla.

Jonker Walk, Malacca - a feast of sight, sound and sense [taste,etc].

This is how sugercane juice is made.

a beautiful sight.

Intricate carvings and ornaments decorate the roof of the Cheng Hoon Teng Temple, the oldest Chinese temple in Malaysia. It was founded in 1646.

Monkey[s]

2005-02-10T07:10:00.000Z

monkeys decorate the interior of the caves.
Posted by Hello

Batu Caves

2005-02-10T06:02:00.000Z

I've lived in Malaysia all my life.
I am of Indian origin.
I am 24 years old.

I went to Batu Caves for the first time today. Motivated by Kasper's and Camilla's presence, mimo and i took the opportunity to play (terrible) tour guides and give them a taste of the local flavors. It takes tourists to make the locals acknowledge their own cultural heritage. Okay, I am exaggerating. It is not as melodramatic as I make it sound.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A brief history of Batu Caves :

"In 1878, the expansive jungle encapsulating the tiny town of Kuala Lumpur was impenetrable to most except the 'orang asli' (local tribes) and a few local Malay folk who entered the area in search of food, attap, wood, rattan and medicinal herbs to trade. Bate Caves, about 13km North of the city centre (reachable only by a gruelling pony track in those days) was left to its pristine, undisturbed slumber.

One day out hunting, the intrepid American Naturalist, William Hornaday noticed an undeniably strong odor, a mixture of guano and durian. Intrigued by the stench he followed the trail to a towering limestone ridge. His guides of several local aborigines (called Jakun) and an elderly Malay led the hunting crew up the 40foot(12m) face cliff. The climb was made easy by a pile of angular rocks that over the years of wear and tear had chipped off the cliff.

Soon after they arrived at a huge cavernous mouth. The pungent odor must have been overpowering as they trudged into the darkness of the cave, sinking into the dry, loose guano covering the cave floor. The Jakun were more than familiar with the area, using the cave as a shelter from wild, marauding elephants and other dangerous creatures and also to trap bats for food.

Hornaday was awestruck by the size of the cavern and the creatures living within. For the next few days, the group spent much time exploring other caves in the area. There they found Gua Lambong (Lambong Cave). He described his find, 'We found ourselves in a grand cathedral. We walked along a grand gallery with clean and level floor, perpendicular walls and gothic roof, like the nave of a cathedral, 50feet(15.2m) wide and 60feet(18.3m) high. At the far end, the roof rose in a great round dome 90 or 100feet high perfectly resembling St.Peter's in Rome.'

This perfect setting was indeed a place of worship later - the worship of Lord Murugan.

Hornaday and his crew returned to town with wonderful stories about the 'find' and soon picnic parties to the caves were the 'rage of the month' for the colonial socialites. Guests were transported to the caves on elephants. While the servants laid out a sumptuous spread of food and drinks, the guests lazed in the shade of the forest canopy and marveled at the glorious backdrop of the limestone cliffs.

Then the Hindu devotees began making pilgrimages to the caves, clambering up the jagged rocks to the Temple Cave in 1890s. They turned the cave into a shrine for Lord Murugan.

In 1955, two British employees from Sime Darby and Company, fervent cave explorers stumbled upon an intact skeleton in the deep crevices of the Dark Caves. On the wall was an inscription scribbled in Chinese introducing the dead as a Chinese man from Lok Wooi District in South China and signed off 3rd February in the 28th year of the Chinese Republic (1940). On further exploration, the cavers found another four skeletons not far from the first one. They were believed to have used the caves to hide from the British and Malayan soldiers during the Emergency Period and had committed suicide, perhaps to evade being captured and imprisoned as communist terrorists."

-Extracted from Batu Caves, http://www.journeymalaysia.com/MHIS_batucaves.htm -

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Admist a throng of tourists, devotees and admirers, we found our way to the mouth of the cave after gallantly taking on 272 stairs. Looking at the stairs from the foot of the hill, it seemed like an easy walk up, a stroll even. But it was anything but a stroll - narrow ledges and a steep ascend. I found myself holding on to the railing, just in case. Just in case my legs were to give way and collapse beneath me. It would be a painful plummet down.. 'plop..plop..plop..'

The caves were beautiful. Nature often is. Almost unreal, man made. Illuminated by a stream of sunlight from the room of the cave, i could see stalactites and stalagmites older than anything i could imagine line the walls of the caves. There are statues everywhere, and the smell of incense filled the air. Different kinds of smells. Some almost familiar, some foul. I was dissapointed to see that irresponsible people had already been here, and left their marks in the form of unbecoming grafitti - 'Kumar was here'. Great, good for you Kumar but we don't really care.

Going deeper into the caves, we came across another flight of stairs. Nothing like the first 272. Nothing beat that. Up we went and to our delight - monkeys everywhere. Big ones, small ones, bullies and cowards. We just stood there amazed at their agility. How do the climb the way they do? Extra finger strength?!

People were feeding them - bananas mostly. Drats, we forgot to buy some. No, i am not walking down for bananas. We watched the monkeys, and the amusement on the faces of children as they made contact with the monkeys. However, the rascals (referring to the monkeys, not the children) aren't always well bahaved and civil. Often, they are like pickpockets, snatching whatever they feel like from your hands, face, etc.

Josh was with us too. He had this funky blue camera which took 4 shots at a go. It had a technical name but i can't remember it for the life of me. Boys and their toys. Rather, Josh and his toys. Oh, how he enjoys them. Its inspiring almost.

We collected our strengths (individually) and started making our way down them 272 stairs. It was alot easier, except that its easy to loose your footing and fall head first. I suggest that they install escalators for those that'd rather not walk. Like me. We made it down, naturally. Hungry.

A banana leaf lunch for Kasper and Camilla at Acah's Curry House: Mother of all Curries. In PeeJay (Petaling Jaya) A truly unique dining experience - off a banana leaf. They enjoyed it, so did we. Acah, the owner entertained us with excellent customer service and a trick or two. Well, its not a trick. Its physics. Go there, and he'll enlighten you.

I'll post some pictures later. Can't wait for the '4 shot photographs' from Josh's funky blue camera.

Laterz.

The Year of the Rooster: 2005

2005-02-10T04:16:00.000Z

The Year of the Rooster: 2005. My Chinese zodiac sign - In lieu of that, a very happy Chinese New Year to you and you and you.
Posted by Hello

A Dr.Phil Thrill

2005-02-07T14:16:00.000Z

Donna sent this to me, in response to an email i sent her complaining about my boredom:-

'Take Dr. Phil's Advice...

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally
found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to
finish all the things you've started."

So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of
Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kahlua, a
package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest
of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates....

You have no idea how freaking good I feel'.

b.a.n.g.s.a.r.

2005-02-07T13:03:00.000Z

Bangsar by Night : a Bad Picture

stolen.. yes, really.

2005-02-07T13:02:00.000Z

Nothing interesting ever happens to me?
Wrong.

The day started out like any other day. I woke up at 3pm (not like very other day). Lethargic. That's what happens when you overdose on sleep.

Kasper messaged from a Danish number: We're going out to get some lunch. Message back at this number.
My reply: What's the plans for today?
Kasper calls back. From the hotel. I ask if he'd like me to call him back. It might be cheaper but the hotel is smart. A guest is charged RM5 for every incoming call. So, really, it doesn't make a big difference.

They want to spend the afternoon by thye pool. Catch some rays, try for tans. This is an option anytime of the year. We are seasonless. Unless you consider rainy days a season. Ahhh, the beauty of the tropics.

I say, 'Sounds good to me! I guess we'll see you guys for dinner. We'll come bout sixish?
Kas: Yea, then we could chill a bit and also decide on where to eat. We'll either be at the pool or in the room..'
Me: See you then!

Soon, it was time to leave. Kuala Lumpur's too complicated for the likes of mimo and me. Getting lost there has become a norm, and we getting lost. Especially there. So much traffic, all in a rush. Road rage is not uncommon. Yes, we get lost again... but on positive note - we always reach our intended destination, a bit late but still there.

Kas and Camilla looked like they'd seen the sun. Glowing. We decide on Jalan Alor, famous for a variety of chinese hawker fare and a different perspective on eating out - by the side of a road, vendors yelling, illegal vcd sellers, etcetera. Especially for those coming from Europe. Its not done like that there.

But it starts to rain. Now, that single handedly rules Jalan Alor out. They don't know Kuala Lumpur or it eateries. Unfortunately, neither did we. Hey, its not like i frequent the city very often! Bangsar it is then. (Bangsar is famous for it nightlife and restaurants)

We park at the housing area opposite Telawi, where the life is. There's a night market there. Right, every Sunday.. great to show Camilla and Kasper. She's amazed at the variety of fruits the tropics have to offer, never seen before - jackfruits, pink guava's, mangosteens (which don't resemble mangoes in any way).. It is starts drizzling.. Its really not our day. But no complains at this point in time.

I bump into Sam at Flams. An ex-boyfriend. This time the situation was not awkward. I didn't even know he was in the country. Last i heard, he went back to France. Anyway, we decide on meeting later for drinks. The rest of us go to Lotus. I think Indian food. It could be Indian-Muslim. Hmmm. Don' t ask what the difference is. At least, don't ask me.

Kasper and Camilla enjoyed dinner. So did we. While paying for the bill, we noticed a sign saying that the restaurant is of an A grade. Huh..what? So we find out - Lotus has been given the seal of approval by the relevant ministries for cleanliness. He said some other things too. I wasn't paying attention. An A for being clean caught my attention. So.. Lotus started in 1981 (coincidently, the year Mimo and i was born) by one guy, solo. Today, there are 21 Lotus's throughout malaysia. Impressive? Yes. Enterprising? Yes.

Then its off to BarFlams. Its expanded since the last time i was there with a bottle of Chivas on the table. We're drinking, we're talking. Actually, shouting because nobody hears the talking over the music. Sam subtly slips it into the conversation that he has a girlfriend. Good for him. I think, 'I hope she's nice'. Half an hour later, she joins us - Let's call her 'D' (in case she's rather not be named). I talk to her, some small talk, some conversation. She seems nice, and alot older than she actually looks. At least Sam's got someone looking out for him.

All nice and dandy. Its 12 a.m. The witching hour. Mimo's got class at 9 a.m the very next day. So we finish off our drinks and decide to head our separate ways. Plus, Kas and camilla have to be dropped of at Ampang. Sam and Dilla walk us to our car, the one parked in the housing area.

To our utter disbelief - It is not there. We retrace our steps. I run up the road to check if it isn't on the other row of houses. No. I run back. The car's gone. Poof. Another first time experience.
To the police station. Sam and Dilla were nice enough to drive us there, get the report done, then drive us to the police station at Brickfields.

By this time, Kas and Camilla had left. I felt so bad for asking them to take a cab back to the hotel. But nothing could be done.

More paperwork at Brickfields. Sam and Dilla sat outside on the couch, bored. i tell them that we're okay on our own, and thank you for everything'. *Really guys, if you read this. THANK YOU! They go. It okay, we'll take a cab home. Its not that far anyway and standing in front of a police station is pretty safe anytime.

If you think that's bad, check this out - our house keys were in the car, which is who knows where. Luckily i have a locksmith's number. He's answers the phone. (A deep, deep sigh of relief).

To cut an already long story short. We got into our house, with considerable effort from the 'cheerful at 3 a.m.' locksmith, Andy.

Excitement over. Mimo looks down. I feel helpless. If only i could make this go away..
Mimo looks down. I feel helpless.

the unsatisfied hedonist

2005-02-07T00:40:00.000Z

I should rename my blog. I am a pleasure seeker, which ever way you look at it. But just being a pleasure seeker, doesn't equals always experiencing pleasure. Pleasure's as hard to come by as a hand drawn perfect circle, which i have been trying to accomplish but to no avail. Picasso drew a mean perfect circle - free hand, eyes shut. I am setting my standards way too high. I can't draw. And i'm certainly not a Picasso.

I think i'll name my blog 'The Hedonistic Failure'. This all has to do with unreasonably high expectations. I wake up in the morning expecting a gala day - from fireworks to a fiesta, wrapped up with a comfortable siesta.

Of course, it never happens.

Life is short. If you live till 70, you'll only experience 70 winters (for those in tropical climates, just imagine life in four seasons). But its also quite a bore. Yesterday is the same as today and its going to be the same as tomorrow.

"It's all in the mind". I think that's the most overused cliche. Okay, if it's in the mind.. then who put it there?! If i did, well, i certainly wasn't aware of it.

So in the pursuit of pleasure, i fail miserably. My pleasures come in short, fleeting moments. In the little things. A clean house. Good food. Homework that is completed. Conversations with substance. (Which is as sparce as water on the Sahara).

Great things come in small packages. Maybe its true.

Good Property

2005-02-06T10:36:00.000Z

Wish i was here!

This would be the perfect panorama to wake up to every morning. Sea breeze, a faint scent of salt and aesthetically pleasing visuals. The city is exciting. So many people - faces and races, so many places, so much traffic.. So much going on. And then you're tired. Of going out. Of dressing up. Of coming down. I find myself wanting to be at home. Or quiet conversation.

My friends used to wonder. "HUH? She wants to stay at home? No parties - before and after??". Shocked. Its been just about 2 years now since I last embarked on a spree of painting towns red and getting blasted. Now they don't wonder anymore. But some say.."She's boring now".

Well, excuse moi. I am 24 years too old to carry on getting shit faced. Especially when there's class/work in the ungodly hours of the a.m. Tell me how you do it Energizer Bunny?

--------------------------------------------------

So, as I was saying - That beach front view beats the architectural wonders of our concrete jungles.

- The Pyramids will not last a moment compared to a daisy -
Anonymous

...Like Duh...

2005-02-06T02:58:00.000Z

what?? web design is hard?!

2005-02-04T01:58:00.000Z

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I am Fire

2005-01-28T04:28:00.000Z

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.

You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.

Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

today's low

2005-01-27T06:48:00.000Z

It was strange today. I got tired around 3 something in the afternoon. Eyes cloudy, almost heavy yet I did not feel like sleeping. My body hurt and my head felt as though it were a mountain ram headbutting for its conquests. I went to college, sat through the class, tried my best to put on a smiley face. I was dying to go home..

This is the funny part: When I got home, I was wishing that I didn't come home. Domino cartons on the couch, spots on the floor, cups lying around, dishes in the sink, doors (cupboards, cabinets, you name it) left wide open - a general state of disarray, made more unpleasant by the unforgiving flourescent lights (i hate 'em, its purpose is to fuck up ambience).

Maybe i'm too fussy about my living conditions.. maybe not. Maybe my reaction was a tad too melodramatic.. maybe not. All i know is that i really didn't need this today, not today.

its been awhile

2005-01-26T04:11:00.000Z

i haven't been blogging for a while. Too busy with too much. I was in Ipoh over the weekend. It was good being back home.. so many memories all stocked up in one place. My dad doesn't live there anymore but there's so much of him there. All his collectibles - antique pieces ranging from clocks, furniture to cars.. left there with no more purpose. He was a passionate man and it showed the way he lived his life, with zest. I am sad because i miss him so much although i see him every now and then. It just isn't enough sometimes.

Mum and prita have redecorated the patio.. with a tropical, chill out theme. Candles, flowing water, plants, a hammock with the view of the entire garden. The grills are wide enough that it allows for my two dogs, fifi and dooga to come in. A perfect gate away after a stressful day. Fifi's just a puppy and she's so full of energy. She's like a kangaroo, hopping and skipping, never taking a moments rest. Dooga is the true definition of 'a man's best friend.' He's the gentlest, kindest, most people friendly dog i know. I was sitting in the hammock one night, alone with the dancing lights of the candles, and Dooga just sat below me the whole time. I get up, he gets up.. everytime i have to leave him, it breaks my heart because i know how much he truly, truly wants to be around people.

tomorrow's a holiday - Taipusam. Its that funky Indian holy day (see i told you Malaysia's the Land of Holidays) where devotees pierce themselves with long needles and carry kavadis (like a float.. but not a float) and throw coconuts on the ground. They also walk over hot coal and don't get their feet burnt. Apparently, the pierced areas don't bleed either. Something to do with them meditating and fasting prior to the big day. Interesting huh?

its monday again. Comedies are on tv. Since its a holiday, mimo went out a got a bottle of vodka. Its gonna be a good night! ;)

Pierced for Thaipusam

2005-01-26T04:06:00.000Z

A devotee carrying a kavadi.

On the menu today.. A point to ponder.

2005-01-21T03:36:00.000Z

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

- G. Bernard Shaw _

small stuff good stuff

2005-01-20T06:27:00.000Z

Another day down. For the first time in a long time, I am returning to an empty home. Prita's away in Ipoh and Mimo's attending a dinner with his dad. For a change, the silence is welcoming. No video games in the background, no television, no chattering.. just quiet. The only noise I hear is the fan's steady hum.

Just me and my joint. A perfect concoction after a long, long day. Oh, but I found out earlier that Friday is some Muslim holy day.. no college - HOLYDAY!!!. LoL. Pun intended. Happiness is found in the normal, everyday thing. In Malaysia, a holiday IS an everyday thing.. We are, after all.. Living in the Land of Holidays.

Its not a bad place to live - Malaysia. I pretty much like it here. People are friendly enough, tolerant enough, open minded enough.. Well that last point, I'm not too sure but if you compare Malaysia to some other Muslim country, we're very liberal here. Being too open minded can make your brains fall out! Its way too hot here for winter fashions but there a certain freedom in not having to be weighed down by layers of cloth. The food is pretty awesome.. So much variety, so many colors. I can drink if I choose to, eat pork if want to , and party like crazy if I have to.. Its all good to go. See, if not taken for granted, the little things can really be liberating. :) But most importantly, I feel safe here.. Like really safe. Never been mugged, harrassed, etc.. Add that all up and you've got one heck of a place to live in.. There are areas which I think they could improve - public transportation, government beaurocracy, social networks, health insurance, etc - and they should do it soon. It's just the right thing to do.. you know, if people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops!

That's that.. but i'm quite okay here. (that came out sounding rather mecentric) Mimo and i have discussed moving elsewhere if an opportunity arises. Maybe Europe.
He says 'not America'.
I say 'why not?'
He says 'Germany takes care of its people. Health insurance, social systems that support you - free education, good maternity/paternity plans and blah, blah (refer to what Malaysia does not have). America, not so much.'
I think, 'Hmmm, he may have a point.'
I say, 'Lets keep our options open.'

Change is revolutionary and sometimes a fresh point of view is necessary. Otherwise, you could easily become so accustomed to your little routines and habits that you just lose sight on the big picture. And you don't notice those little ordinary moments of potential happiness - rain on a hot, hot day, extra sauce for your fries, a really helpful shop assistant.. i could go on and on..

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank -

focus-less

2005-01-20T00:02:00.000Z

- unfocused -

tick..tock..tick..stop.

2005-01-19T23:54:00.000Z

At work.

I am reading up on Marketing for High Technology. Hopefully, this will give me more clarity and focus. There's only an hour left before i have to go. Go to college, that is. My second interviewing class with Ms. V. Last week, she asked us to go home and search for some interview samples. I guess we're gonna be discussing them in class. I have some Ali G interviews on my USB. I figured that it might brighten up a dull class of standard tried and tested interview sessions. Ali G is a blast.. especially for those who will watch it for the very first time. Hmm, i wonder if there are any of those people around.. i mean, everybody knows Ali G but i know he's alot smarter than he makes himself out to be.. well, okay.. its not a big secret.

Its also not a big secret that time crawls along when you are paying attention to it. Subconsciously, my eyes are drawn to the bottom of the screen to the clock. Arrrgh.. only 2 minutes have passed!! Seems so impossible.. I check the clock on my cell.. same shit.

I obviously can't do anything about it. Back to reading, 'Inside the Tornado' - Marketing Strategies from Silicon Valley's Cutting Edge.

Later.

my monday mood

2005-01-18T04:50:00.000Z

Today, i feel relatively uninspired and blatently unimpressed.

- end -

wise words.

2005-01-16T05:30:00.000Z

'Love looks not with the eye but with the mind, and therefore a winged cupid is painted blind.'
- A Midsummer's Night Dream -

flawed but real

2005-01-14T23:58:00.000Z

For those of you who have been paying attention, i have typo's. Typo's make the writing more real, less edited. I am also way too lazy to go back and correct it again. So unless it bothersome to your eyes, i will not do anything about it.

*wide grin*

now listening to : silence

yesterday: the longest day

2005-01-14T23:50:00.000Z

Yerterday was such a long day. So long that I was too tired to do anything, much less blog. Juggling school and work is something new to me. I had class from 8 to 9 am .. Then flew off to work which starts at 9am. Even Clark Kent aka Superman couldn't have made it on time. In all the chaos, I forgot to bring my work shoes along so I had to choose from going in my trainers or nu-pieds. I chose the former. So trainers and all, I braved work till 5pm.. Mostly doing research on telecommunication giants like AT&T and Deutsche Tel. I was also desperately trying to zoom in on my focus but i guess i wasn't in my element. My thoughts were disjointed, in fragments like lyrics from Nirvana. Time did what times does, move super slowly in moments of misery.

Okay! I wasn't really that miserable and it did become 5pm. Time to go! - and i went! I had class agai, from 6 to 9 pm. NINE, imagine that! It was also my first attempt to ever drive from work, which is in Cyberjaya: The Intelligent City to college in Sri Kembangan. Equipped with my 'acute' sense of direction, i got lost btu not that lost cause i found my way back in not more than half and hour. Great timing, cause i reached college just in time for class..

Class, this time, is called Principles of Interviewing. It is a Core Requirement for Communication majors. A whole four months of learning about interviews... can't wait. Thankfully though, i knew some people there.. from classes before. The lecturer's pretty cool too.. but i think this time i will reserve my judgements till i have enough material to judge on. ;) Ms. V ( not Dr. V, a different person) managed to come up with something pretty funky for the ice breaker session. Nomally, they make us stand up and say our names, where we're from, why we're here (do they think to do THIS?!!!)and blah, blah. It really corny, and nobody really listens anyway...So, as i was saying, Ms.V got all the left handers to use their right hands; all the right handers to use their left hands.. to draw our individual faces on an A4 sheet..and what fun! Matthias drew himself looking like 'Thug-Life' while i kinda looked like Oliver Kahn, Germany's goalkeeper for the 2002 World Cup. She collected our masterpieces and shuffled them like a deck of cards but with slightly more effort, given the size of the paper. She then, passed them out again and we had 5 minutes to match the face to the person - and conduct an impromptu interview. At the finale, we presented it. A jazzed up version of introductions.. I'm all for it!

Class ended at 8.45pm. I got lost again going home. Just wonderful! I need GPRS. Hmmm, i should add that on my wishlist (hint! hint!) . Oh, i made it home though, with some stress. Isabel came over. We brainstormed for some questions for her market research job, her first solo project. Well that went well... so all in all... a triumph.

I survived the longest day ever. A 14 hour day... and this day will be repeated every single wednesday. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, they say..

well, i feel stronger already. That's it for yesterday, today.. get it?

the longest day ever and i survived.

Leader Test Results

2005-01-12T00:52:00.000Z

You like power because it increases your sexual options.
You are JFK. You are a thrill seeker by nature and don't shy away from risky behavior.

say what?? i like power, but not for that reason..

Mother.

2005-01-12T00:34:00.000Z

Under the giant oak tree a girl tatters a daisy to shreds, thinks of her father's hand, the breath of her mother. Her mother's whisper that morning, he is sorry. Noon light blasts through the leaves like the end of the reel at the Saturday pictures. She remembers a book in her grandfather's library, a book of trees: beeches, birches, ash and pine. The greatest of all is the oak. Its stern column as tall as God. Transparent, letting the sun rush through, a reckless charm that stuns like a fist and then warms you with love, with light. The small girl leans into the bark humming some child's song about the ocean. She can't imagine how big is the sea. The only greater thing must be this tree, and the voice of her mother. It is always there. It is quieter than God. It promises nothing short of heaven.

- An excerpt from Specimen Days Part 2 (and all along you've been my mother) -
Andrea Holland

Back to the books.

2005-01-11T01:32:00.000Z

Today was the first day of the Spring 2005 semester. I have always loved the first day of school/college. First days are always so exciting - novel and full of hope. :) I went for my first class - Marketing Principles. So far, so good. I suspect that lectures are going to be boring, but hey, lets not cross bridges till we see it. There were some people that i know so that's always a plus point. I hate sitting through boring lectures friendless. Three's never a crowd in this context. I was supposed to head back to work after that, but registration took so long. Thank goodness the people at work are flexible. I met Matthias, Suffian, Ivan, Shareeny, Khairul and etcetera. Was so thankful that there were more people than i could relate to at the crappy college. At least more people to make classrooms endurable. Phew... good stuff. We're thinking of starting up a College Newsletter, which is gonna look great in our CV's. Everything is going well and we even got the perfect lecturer to head the team - Mr Steven Baptist, not a teacher but a mentor. If only all teachers were that inspiring. I also put in an appeal for my english grades. Can you imagine, the woman gave me a B and its not like we're studying at Columbia U or anything. Its just so wrong.. wish me luck for the appeal!

till later. I have a movie date with the love of my life!

2005-01-10T09:30:00.000Z

if only there were more hours in a day..

a moment of silence

2005-01-10T07:13:00.000Z

- a simple child, that lightly draws it breath, and feels its life in every limb, what should it know of death. -

William Wordsworth

peace of mind

2005-01-10T06:39:00.000Z

You make me dream of sitting on a warm evening just looking at the full moon and how it bathes in all its different lights, at peace with no answers to so many questions, simply being content with what the moonlight reveals - knowing there is substance there, life, but not needing the harsh rays of the sun.

2005-01-09T14:24:00.000Z

isabel's ball phyton keeping me company.

Maya

2005-01-09T08:21:00.000Z

by Karen Nunis Blackstone

the good life

2005-01-09T08:14:00.000Z

I went to to an art exhibition today - the oil and digital works of Karen Nunis Blackstone who has been based in Japan for the past 14 years. She is a Malacca gal though.. home grown talent! Her work incorporates alot of textures to lend towards the depth of the art. I really liked her digital work.. lots of colors with deep spaceless eyes and psychedelic lines. It was a good way to start the day.

I also created my own custom car - an Audi TT for Need for Speed Underground 2. Mimo plays it all the time and i got curious as to what the hype was all about. Now i know.. although my wrists hurt like hell after racing due to my intense passion for competition, its kinda cool. My car looks awesome.. like a green dragon, a speed demon. :) I wish it was my daily mode of transportation. I would certainly enjoy driving then.

Prita's out in the living room having some friends over. I decided to be a gracious and benevolent older sister by not disturbing her out there. So i'm here, in the computer room, blogging, gaming (god bless literati) and smokin..

ah the good life.. ;)

- end -

the modern man

2005-01-08T06:50:00.000Z

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the innitiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservation, all of which may appear to give peace of mind, but in reality, nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.

-Into the Wild-

Why I don't like surveys.

2005-01-06T23:30:00.000Z

Mel wants me to fill up a survey, but I must decline. Sorry Mel. I don't do very many surveys. Sometimes simple questions can be very hard to answer.. But that's just the thing. Our lives have become so complicated that simplicity confuses us. It feels empty, spaceless even. You know what people always say, 'less is more' but is it? Our society is a decadent one. We live on over consumption. Less is not more to us. Less is what we cannot have. Everyday we are flooded with torrents of information - pictures, words, sounds, smells - all mostly fragments because we are physically unable to sift through and separate what is important with what is not. It attacks our senses. So, we lose sight of our priorities. We seek stimulation, at all times, at all costs.

We are aimless, sleepwalking through the cycles of life
- not dead, but not really alive.

So some questions are really hard to answer. Plus, its kinda personal :)

Note: 'we' is used as a generalization of our generation. Not used to categorize anyone in particular.

pain

2005-01-05T07:39:00.000Z

...it instantly reminds him of what he is mad about. He is mad about being small when you were big, but no, that's not it. He is mad about being helpless when you were powerful, but no, that's not that either. He is mad about being contingent when you were necessary, not quite it. He is insane because when he loved you, you didn't notice.

- Donald Barthelme -

dedicated to the best gal pals ever!

2005-01-04T22:48:00.000Z

I don't spend enough time with my friends. In fact, i hardly even see them. I miss them and i think of them often but that doesn't make the equation. ever since i've been focusing on my studies and the quest to graduate with honors, i don't seem to be able to find the time to meet up with them. By the time i get home from work/college, i just want to curl up in front of the telly, and let my mind drift to oblivion. But i'm afraid that this might cost me my friendships.. its so important to bridge the gaps of geography and lifestyle to stay closely connected to your friends, especially those from childhood. I'm so proud of them tho.. just thinking about how they've grown up, matured into beautiful and strong young gals (i am specifically talking about the gal pals here, like duh! you know who you are) makes me realize how much they really mean to me. If only they knew.. i'm not so good with telling people how i feel about them. In an ideal world, people would just know instinctively..

but our world is not ideal. dammit.

i just miss them, all of them. Each with their eccentricities and quirks. Mel's 'so stoooopid laaa you' cutesyness, steph's straightforwardness, liza's resilience, joanna's complexities, sujata's practicality, rat's depth and nobility.. and all the wonderful gals that i had the pleasure of their company. Good girl friends are hard to come by..

i value each and every one of you, even if i don't see you so often, even if i don't tell you to often.

never forget that.

no escape.

2005-01-04T20:39:00.001Z

i feel mushrooms growing in the hollow cavities of my brain.
If i'm going to have fungus anyways, pray let it be the magical kind.

time is passing very slowly, like a tortoise with a broken leg. my mind is blank from the boredom of sitting in a claustrophoic cubicle, with absolutely nothing to do. i believe that people have lost their marbles like this and to think, i was already short of a few. its a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining and the birds a'chirping.. whilst i sit here, in a pseudo caged state.. with no escape.

please let them fungi be the magical kind.

Tsunami Relief

2005-01-04T06:28:00.000Z

Lend a heart.

Maybank has set up the following Maybank Accounts, No. 114013169092 and No. 514011389072 for the Fund. For more information please go to Maybank2U and click on the Tsunami Relief Banner.

it comes and goes.

2005-01-04T02:40:00.001Z

Great..

i could be sleeping now. Instead, i am awake, at work and dead bored. I have read the news on CNN too many times already, practically memorising every tragic detail of the tsunami incident. Its not even good news.. a few moments ago, tears were welling up in my eyes reading about all the people desperately seeking family members and friends.

Life is so short. One moment you're strolling down a beach and the next, the very definition of life to you is over. A split second moment and the very world you know can change its face. Its like people, except that nature doesn't mess with you as often as people do.

All this is making me feel bad for feeling sorry for myself. Yea sure, i have to sacrifice my holidays for measly work. However, i am alive and i might add, quite well. The 'tragedy' of my life now is that am unable to figure out what i want to do for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that but everyone around me thinks that its crazy to be unsure of your path. What's so crazy about that? Yes, i know, i know.. we need to generate an income to live but how did we become so fixed on this notion that it has warped our perceptions, jaded our souls... it somehow affects us all, plays into our worries and creeps into our minds when we last expect it.. like some unstoppable plague..

be strong they say.
plagues come and go. Life comes and goes.

Its simply too short..

Quote of the Day.

2005-01-03T12:20:00.000Z

I can teach a man to sail, but I can never teach him why..

code switcher

2005-01-03T12:06:00.000Z

Phew..

Bless the sun for coming down and letting me go home. I sat in the office today, wondering what the hell am I doing there, anxiously awaiting my instruction like a soldier waiting to go to war. I was living my own 'Desert Storm', desperately wanting to prove that I had the 'knowledge'.. but I didn't. The 'knowledge' meant computer jargon. To me, it might have well been Russian. Of course, I tried to understand but often when I asked them questions about what they do, the answers came out in compu-speak.. so of course, being the diligent worker ant that I am, I painstalkingly looked up the individual difinitions in wikipedia..

but it'll get better i'm sure. Learning's never a bad thing so why not?
That is the question.

I even managed to find myself home. You don't know how proud i am of myself now!

Damn, the comedies are on tv now. I must go.

- end -

if only everyday were sunday.

2005-01-02T19:40:00.000Z

Another lazy Sunday.

I'm just realizing that I've been lazy for so long. Lazy to make a change or a difference. These numerous years of being in college, switching college has made .... The word is comfortable, again! College ain't hard, classes are a breeze... And every now and then, the direct causal link to procrastinating, I get stressed. I've become so used to these classroom rituals that a part of me dreads the day that I'll graduate.

I'm supposed to start my internship on Monday. I might have to postpone it for a couple of days till I get all the necessary documents settled. I figured that this is a better way rather than to have to keep asking for leave. When in college, it was so easy not to go to class.. All you had to to was decide, 'I'm not going!' and that was that. But it feels weird doing that when you're working proper. Mel don't worry, I won't suddenly turn all lazy and refuse to work.. lol. Damn, that reminds me.. I better call the dude and let him know my plans regarding work. (Make mental Note)

screw that, i'm just going to make that phone call now.

- end -

a lament

2005-01-01T20:41:00.000Z

i don't belong to this world of suffering.

my place is a happier one.
hence, thats why i enjoy going to sleep.

2005-01-01T09:51:00.000Z

'True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always reason in madness'.

Quiet inspirations

2005-01-01T07:46:00.000Z

I am comfortable. Perhaps too comfortable. My desires and habits are in constant conflict with each other, like an arrogant India and a petty Pakistan. A slave to my habits, I feel burdened with my comfort. Someone once told me, It is not man's natural state to be confined by concrete'. We belong to nature, to the land. I long to roam the land. I want to see magnificent sights and visit forgotten empires. I want to be left in awe - speechless and humbled. My spirit will be renewed, my thoughts inspired.

my life is far from ideal. What I want and what I must are polar opposites. I have to wake up every morning to make it to silly classes, that only very occasionally teach me anything. I have to watch the carbohydrates and hydrate enough. I could go on and on..

but what the heck, it ain't too bad. Despite the routine, despite the contradictions, despite all the blah moments.. Life has a quirky way of surprising you. I am in a bittersweet relationship with life. Sometimes I hate it, but most of the time, its pretty okay...and.. Sometimes even comfort inspires. Its not a 'sweeping you off your feet' kind of moment. Its more like a gentle pat on your back, a silent High 5.

its subtle and sincere.

That's a happy thought.

Reflection of the day,

'we act as though comforts and luxuries are the most important things in life, when all we really need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about'.

- Alfred Kingsley -

Novelty

2004-12-31T12:37:00.001Z

there's a first time for everything.

Including blogging.

2005 is right around the corner. A whole new year with endless possibilities - half chance, half choice. I see the path that i am travelling on. There's a certain comfort in knowing where you are going and knowing where you'll wake up tomorrow. The path seems paved, almost calm..

we're all growing up. that's not always a bad thing though. Age (often) brings wisdom with experience, and you know what they say, 'experience is the best teacher'. Combining that wisdom with child like curiousity is the way to go.. a child never tires of discovering the sparkling of dew in the early morn.. a child is always entertained , by sounds and lights and colors. Children pay attention to their surroundings, utilizing all their senses, experiencing life for the first time.

we should learn from the children. Learn about life all over again. Learn how to look at a beautiful sunset as though its not of this world, as though we see it for the very first time.

That's my resolution for 2005.

i am going to seek out life.

Happy New Years..

2004-12-31T12:37:00.000Z

needing nothing, wanting nothing - simplicity